High-school is supposed to be fun-right? It was for me at least. It’s not anymore. Its miserable. I hate it.
For years, I found myself wishing for time to slow down, I wanted to enjoy the time that I had. Cherish the little things. Not anymore. It needs to speed the fuck up, before I throat punch someone. And she’s only 14.
How much trouble could one person create? Maybe it’s drama and not trouble, either way high-school is not like this 20 years ago. WOW…saying that aloud, 20 years ago I was right where she was. Loving school, worrying about what to wear and if my grades were good enough. I wish she cared about her grades or anything at all. All that seems to matter is FaceTime, her streaks, and how many followers she has on instagram. I always said, I’d be the cool mom, and while trying to figure this whole high-school thing out, have came to realize that there are no cool moms. She will hate me for the next 10 years and then she’ll get it, and maybe even laugh with me again.
The past few months have been a roller coaster, and while trying to help my daughter I’ve wondered if I have made the situation worse. It started on social media, arguing with each other and saying things that most people wouldn’t say face to face. Everyone is more confident behind a screen. My daughter began to feel defeated. Withdrawn. She didn’t want to participate in what she used to love. I found myself at the school everyday for 2 weeks fighting for her, being in her corner. Administration informed me she had been skipping classes. I was floored. SKIPPING. She was skipping class to avoid the peers that she felt attacked by. I was torn. I needed to correct her for skipping, but how was I going to punish her, when she didn’t feel safe in her environment. I grounded her. She couldn’t hang out with the few friends she had left.
During her suspension, the same girls that had pushed her into skipping, started targeting her friends. Spreading rumors. Her anxiety grew. We started seeing a therapist. It helped. She was starting to be herself again. Then she had to return to school. Then someone posted a picture of her on instagram. Called her a snake, a whore, a sad ass bitch. Said she was a waste of time. It was shared multiple times. She called me crying wanting me to pick her up from schoool. As I sat in the lobby at school, waiting for someone in administration, I hopped on instagram. I began to follow her friends, anyone she followed. Looked up the girls who had sent her threatening messages. I sent requests to everyone. In a world where our teenagers are more worried about how many followers they have, they began to accept my follow request. And then I found the posts. Watched their stories. Screenshotted everything I could find. I got the kids suspended for bullying. Finally I felt like I was getting somewhere. This would stop now. It had to. As one of the girls was leaving school for her suspension, she made a negative post about an administrator. I forwarded it to him. After 3 short days they returned to school. Nothing had changed. The threats continued. Our address was shared with anyone wanting to cause her harm. I found getting help to become difficult. Minors are untouchable where I live. The school said there wasn’t anything else they could do. Suggested I file a juvenile complaint. I applied for a harship transfer. I needed for her to feel safe at school, a place where she wanted to go. I convinved her that everything would be ok. She had to continue going to school. That day she called, she had been in a fight and was getting suspended. I saw the fight on social media. I picked her up, and went to file juvenile complaints. Against the attacker, against the bullies. I felt like it had to get better.
We arrived at home. She had been denied for a transfer. DENIED. I started working on an appeal, and scheduled a therapy session.
Her grades had fallen from skipping class and her suspensions. She wasn’t a desirable student. Her Advanced placement and honors classes didn’t matter. I felt that the bullies had won. The school informed me that since she had engaged in a physical altercation, it was no longer bullying. It was now considered a conflict between students. I called the Board of Education. Had a meeting set up. Maybe this would help.
As a result of the meeting, my daughters’ breaks between classes have been altered. She starts her break 1 minute after everyone else. Nothing has changed for the anyone that posted anything about her.
Christmas Break went great. She was more herself than I had seen in 2 months. School has started back, new classes started and her break times remain the same. It’s basketball season, so she went to the game Friday night with some friends from the rival school. At the game, she was approached by one of girls that I filed a complaint against. She had finally been served. 5 weeks after the complaint was filed she was served. 5 weeks!
We continue to push through everyday, hoping that we can improve on each day, rebuilding her confidence. One day we will get past this.
fromtheotherside911 